"That’s right ladies, four years to find a husband. Every true woman knows how vital it is to find the right brilliant babe to father their children and replenish their bank accounts. A Southern belle is nothing but a pretty face and pearls without a man to eat her cooking and appreciate her cleaning. So ladies, the clock is ticking and the hunnies are being taken at an alarmingly fast pace. Our expiration dates are fast approaching. To help you find that special someone, I’ve laid out step-by-step directions for how to secure your husband and consequentially, your future."