"If I tell you how to make a drink, will you make it?"
This is the line that effectively destroyed the market for blue curaçao in the East Village from 2008 to the present day. It would also immediately get you 86’ed from the Odessa Bar on Avenue A and Botanica. Legend goes, the drink in question would become a curiosity to other drinkers and they’d order the same until finally they were falling all over themselves—usually after the first drink.
This, dear friend, is the Aqua Velva. So named for the after shave, this drink came into my life when my friend Vadim had me rewatch David Fincher’s Zodiac. Sure enough, when Paul Avery (Robert Downey, Jr.) goes to find Graysmith (Jake Gyllenhaal) in a bar to talk his theories, he finds the cartoonist sipping from a large blue drink.
"What the fuck is that?"
"An Aqua Velva. Want one?"
Smash cut: the two are at a table surrounded by the blue drinks. And speaking of smash, here’s how you can get yours on.
YOU’LL NEED:
1 bottle of cheap gin
1 bottle of cheap vodka
1 bottle of blue curaçao
A shaker
Ice trays.
1 bottle of Sprite or Ginger Ale. Nothing caffeinated.
Any fucking kind of glass you want. I’ve used pint glasses, highballs, rocks, etc.
THIS IS THE ZODIAC SPEAKING:
First, take your shaker. Put in five to six ice cubes. Add in 1/3 vodka, 1/3 gin and then top with as much blue curaçao as you want. A two second pour does wonders.
Attach top of shaker. Shake well.
Add 1-3 cubes to your glass of choice. Pour in until glass is filled to your liking. Add the Sprite/Ginger Ale to fill out the rest of your glass.
Congratulations. You now have an Aqua Velva. Drink up.
WARNINGS:
-This drink, for all intensive purposes, was designed for the lowest of the low when it comes to livers: the reporter. One or two is plenty for the weekend warrior.
-The blue curaçao is packed with sugar. This will make you feel better than you actually are. But be warned, once you start, you’ve got a 4-5 hour window to enjoy your night. You will crash very hard.
-…you’re also going to wake up 2-3 hours after you first pass out. This has to do with the combination of sugars breaking down in your system and liquor. So if you pass out around midnight, you’ll wake back up for ten minutes at 3 am. You’re also going to have horrifying dreams.
-Three bottles should make around 12 to 15 drinks. Oh. And don’t drink and drive.
p.s. it looks like this.