“Is this Mr. Richtmond?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Mr. Richtmond, I am calling for the Local Health Care Provider and I need to ask you so—”
“My name’s Lichman.”
“Oh…uh…so, I am calling—”
“Are you looking for John?”
“Is that Mr. Richtmond?”
“No.”
“Oh. Who are you?”
“Mrs. Richtmond.”
”…oh…I..”
“Do you know where my husband is?”
”…”

—

and that’s when they hung up.

the moral of the story is: …I don’t know, pretend you’re your own wife and say so in a very gruff voice? I was just fucking around.