“Upon your arrival at the North Pole…it actually begins to snow inside the 4-D Special FX Theater and when the conductor sings ‘Hot Chocolate’ and the dancing waiters begin to pour, the audience can smell the delightful aroma of every cocoa cup!”

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"Sounds, uh, great. Does your seat shake, too?" asks Lou Lumenick.

Real question: who cares? IT’S AT DOLLYWOOD!!!! OMFG.