“It’s not secret that some publications seem more like the A.V. Club’s mutated brother screeching “FFFFFFIIIRRRSTIES REVIEW. FFFFFFFFIIIIIIRRRSTIES” while waving club-shaped arms in the air.”
— this is my favorite thing that i’ve written today.

Guess the film.

A good plot. A family takes a road trip to a beauty pageant. Each character has some sort of flaw, (recently suicidal, won’t speak, overweight) but I never could figure out why. Their interactions were boring. The funniest part at the movie came at the end, but read more obscene than humorous. I walked away wondering what I was missing, since everyone said I should like it.

?

“Does your partner have several errands to do on the weekend? Do they have to get the oil changed, go grocery shopping or get the kids hair cut?”
—

Every weekend, my partner wants to get the kids hair cut and change the oil.

But this Christmas, I’ll know we don’t have to get the kids hair cut. I’ll also probably see a panda that eats shoots and leaves.

[via a website not worth linking to.]

“Our tipster didn’t point this one out, but you’ve probably noticed that we, too, try to crowdsource a lot of reporting, and even speculation. Lazy! But at least our headlines are more fun?”
— In Which the Irony is so thick, you could cut it with a knife? Yeah! Ok?

“Typically, those review event conditions range from comfortable to exceedingly comfortable. In the case of Modern Warfare 2, rooms were outfitted with large screen televisions, thundering surround sound systems, optional professional quality headphones and robes and slippers embroidered with the game’s logo.”
— Video Game Junkets are superior to Film Junkets.