Angry Birds in Chrome →

Because it’s Thursday and you need a simple flash game to amuse you after getting internet in your new apartment for the first time in nearly two weeks since Time Warner Cable somehow went on the quietiest strike I ever did see for the last two months, so when they do come to service your apartment they do so with a box that the technician can’t use and claims, “to be fair, this is a four-year old model and we’re discontinuing these" and when you ask, “so wait, if it’s four years old, does it have that fancy ‘high definition’ thing we agreed to pay for" and he’ll reply, “well, see, the light goes on. But no. It does not."

So, in that case, this is a perfect time waster while you wait for his boss to come out, give you a new cable box that doesn’t fail and then politely inform him of the multiple months of free service he’ll be providing after trying to give us a faulty product, plus one that was not capable of the service we locked into. 

tipping is not just a city in china

I read about the “art project" tipping tumblr from a dude who works here. It hit two points for me:

1) when I was still in college, I eventually made the outing to McSorley’s Ale House. To think about it, it’s the definitive old-school bar in New York. Serves their own beer (two kinds—light and dark) and is generally well regarded. When I walked up, I ordered a light and a dark, which comes out to about a shot of beer a piece for a total of $4. I put down $6. 

That’s when the bartender shouted, “HEY. ASSHOLE. LEAVE TWO DOLLARS FOR A BEER. YA FUCKING OUT OF TOWNER."

Now, by this point in my life, I have frequented a few bars. The “dollar-a-beer" rule has been universal as far as I’ve found. This floored me. Especially when the bartender wouldn’t stop demanding I leave an extra two dollars for the 8 oz beers that were mostly foam. But I left him the extra two dollars, a bit of beer left in each glass and then turned them over on the tips.  That’s when I vowed to never go back into McSorley’s and just drink their fucking beer at Joe’s. 

2) last night at the crocodi-gator lounge transplate in the east village. walked over to get my free pizza. turned my ticket in and the dude demanded i give him a tip. i get it: it is hot working the ovens and the dude works like a dog. but i’d rather a fucking notice that pizza is $1 than a dude coughing loudly as he shakes a fucking tip jar in my face that’s goddamn motherfucking optional than the alternative. which is the bar that advertises a free goddamn pizza with every beer.

tl;dr i moved back to new york today and i dislike being told i haven’t tipped enough when some fuckstick who works at a williamsburg “natural" bodega is basically making it possible to easily steal identities because he’s being “artistic." also fuck mcsoreley’s.

edit: "transplate." clearly someone didn’t wake up at 6am today with a fuzzy head and a heart full of lead.