I now know how a crack addict feels.

so after four hours of being awake and convinced something was in my bedroom and then kitchen, I have found the culprit:

My roommate’s Alarm Clock, which has been on for at least four days and I thought I turned off. No, I merely lowered the volume.

Crisis averted.

Oh, and the usual screams coming from my radiator. But I assume those are just the souls that power my building.

“

John—



Kamon: It must be symbolic to have a humanoid robot in a normal household while the pursuit of unconventional science still exists. For one thing, there’s the family unit N, where the robot’s accepted into it; the social structure, M, that makes it all possible; and everyone’s buying Initial D, Robot Detective K, Nakamori Akina’s “Young Girl A”, and Satsuki Midori’s “Passionate Woman B”. That’s the meaning of the robot.



Haruko: What’s he talking about?



Naota: He wrote a book about the deep mysteries of “Eva.”



-FLCL, Ep. 2

”
— ok. Michael Peterson is officially fucking awesome.

Things I Learned While Spending Three Months in Near-Critical Depression

  • Alcohol forces you to conjure strange images of your Grandfather—shirtless—as he drives a police car into a Gas Station full of thumbtacks. Gets out of the car and pushes you to the ground.
  • Your glazed look will scare people on the subway.
  • Staring at your ceiling for two hours does not do productive things, especially when doing so at night. In your living room.
  • Crying while watching Zebraman makes sense. Because it is heroic.
  • You know what? No—crying while watching Zebraman makes perfect sense, depression or not.
  • You think about very bad things.
  • Everyone feels like shit!
  • Everyone also has already had one friend of theirs kill themselves.
  • "Suicide is Painless" isn’t that convincing about suicide, but it forces you to watch M*A*S*H again.
  • M*A*S*H was much better than I remembered.
  • The entire Presidential process really isn’t that relevant.
  • Your thousand yard death stare freaks out children. (Note: Keep doing this.)
  • The bags under your eyes are like a mood ring for the soul.
  • You sit in your bathroom for 45 minutes while all the hot water is used up re-reading the same New Yorker fiction piece about a new age healer who just fucks with women. And you comprehend it.
  • You make fun of your ex-girlfriend a lot because she’s vegan and her new boyfriend is super vegan and together they will change the world.
  • Also, vegans are comedy gold.
  • The discount liquor store owners know your name.
  • You put on weight.
  • You listen to a lot of Murder by Death and the Smiths.
  • You can’t write.
  • You can’t follow through with creative things.
  • It takes three days to manage 700 words.
  • Nothing makes sense because you feel like you’re drowning.
  • Walking to the subway is like walking to get beaten up for eight hours.
  • Walking from the subway is like walking home after being beaten up for eight hours.
  • You’re convinced it will not get better.
  • Your hands shake.
  • You manage to almost bite off your thumb one day while on the phone.
  • You can’t talk to your parents without feeling like an utter failure.
  • You hope to God someone hits you with a car.
  • You intentionally get home after 3 am because you’ve heard other people were mugged in your neighborhood and are hoping for a fight.
  • You want to lose that fight.
  • You can’t muster up enough strength to plug in a Playsation 2 or turn on a handheld gaming system.
  • You don’t want to wake up.

And now that’s over. Whew.

lame internet meme songtime now yes?

i rarely entertain crappy chain message things. but i liked this one so much i started doing it last night—if only to see what my magical iTunes would dredge up to haunt me. And lo, I turn on the shuffle and let the mp3 oujua dictate if I’m cool:

1. How are you feeling today?
“Things Are What You Make of Them Today" (Reprise) Bishop Allen. Hey, 1 for 25, magic iTunes.


2. Will you get far in life?
“Here We Are (Family In The Hallway)" The Appleseed Cast. I can’t determine if this incredibly pessimistic so far or if I’m destined to see kids alone on a highway at night with distortion making up for talent.

3. How do your friends see you?
“My Out Of Style Is Coming Back" Matthew Good Band. Thank god scruffy, disjointed shaggy haired out-of-work men with black glasses in Brooklyn are going to be in again.

4. Will you get married?
“Green Bird (Ballad of Fallen Angels)" The Seatbelts. If by “married," you mean engaged in a bitter rivalry with an ex-friend until we kill each other…then yes! (I also hope this doesn’t mean who I believe it means.)

5. What is your life’s theme song?
“Let The Exorcism Begin" LandSpeedRecord! Well, why the heck not.

6. What is the story of your life?
“Rhythm-A-Ning" Thelonious Monk. A peppy repetitive jazz tune that ends? Why not.

7. What was high school like?
“4am" Our Lady Peace. Faux-angst and Raine Maida. Actually, that was high school for me.

8. How can you get ahead in life?
“Round Lights" Thelonious Monk. Create awkward style, wear funny hats and ruin traditional concepts within a medium by myself? Sounds up my alley.

9. What is tomorrow going to be like?
“Pledge of Allegiance" Matthew Good. …so…I’m going to give up, become an addict, enter rehab and then be commercially lauded? Great.

10. What is the best thing about your friends?
“Jesus Of Rio" Violent Femmes. They’re catchy and not afraid to be with whores in copenhagen while drinking $800 worth of champagne. or save the world.

11. What is in store for the next weekend?
“Red" Mission of Burma. Wow. Same as last weekend then.

12. What song best describes you?
“Security Blanket" Blame Game. Incoherent, distorted math rock involving screaming and blowing out mics that quietly fades away. Sounds about right.

13. How is your life going?
“Children’s Story" Tom Waits. Everything was dead, and no one was left in the whole world. And I’m going to cry over an over-turned piss pot. Night night.

14. What song will play at your funeral?
“Sweet Sunshine" Beck. I can only see this being played by a post-apocalyptic funeral procession and people with flame throwers burning the city down as my rotten corpse passes through it. Fantastic.

15. How does the world see you?
“Wedding Ring Bell Blues" Daniel Johnston. Disjointed and crazy apparently.


16. Will you have a happy life?

"Opium Tea" Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. Uh…ask again.

17. What do your friends really think of you?
“Electro-Shock Blues" eels.  apparently trying to ignore my psychosis. great.

18. What song describes the person you’re attracted to?
“Take a Picture" Filter. Internet porn?

19. What message would you like to tell the next generation?
“Jesus Of The Moon" Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. They’ll always be beautiful and I’ll always leave you.

20. Do you have a deep dark secret?
“Song for Bob" Nick Cave and Warren Ellis. I’ll eventually die at the hands of a fan.

21. How can I make myself happy?
“Ghost Rider" Henry Rollins. Light myself on fire and ride a motorcycle.

22. Will I ever have children?
“Eventually" Brendan Benson. The title is funny, but it basically means I’ll be a long time coming. ba-da-ching.

23. What’s some good advice for me?
“Dialogue #1" Johnny Cash.  Damn it, Johnny, I wasn’t in love. And how could The Rambler help me? Oh. Oh, wait. I get it now. Huh.

24. How will I be remembered?
“I Know Where The Canaries and The Crows Go" Blood Brothers. Apparently, I’ll at least leave a skeleton.

25. What is my signature dance song?

"Clock and the Storm (Insturmental)" The Appleseed Cast. and here i haven’t even listened to this track before. way to go.

things i've learned from saturday:

-it is possible to blow out a microphone by performing a “death metal" version of “say it ain’t so."

-while intoxicated, i channel some bad DC traditions while using a microphone.

-never have kevin b. lee refill your water glass. he fills it with vodka. and you won’t notice for at least two drinks.

-I have attained Grassroots Regular status after having a group kicked out because one of their party was loud and shrieking. I asked if I should leave, the bouncer said no and then told to stay past closing. Meanwhile I can’t remember why the hell we fought in the first place.

-My Ziro the Hutt impersonation needs work. Not nearly gay or Capote enough.

-If you name your child “Flair," you are just asking for mockery.

-I do not take offense to mocking your friend.