“

EXT. SAN FRANCISCO INT’L AIRPORT - MORNING
An amazing Boeing Business Jet taxis toward the runway, it’s tail bears a black logo made up of a beret with “FB” reversed out, and a silhouetted pair of Raybans below it.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR (V.O.)
Thousands have experienced the Ferris Bueller lifestyle course firsthand, investing up to $2,000 to “Take the Day Off” with the man himself, Ferris Bueller…

INT. FERRIS BUELLER’S PERSONAL AIRLINER - CONTINUOUS A FLAT SCREEN TV RUNNING AN INFOMERCIAL:

A VIDEO B-ROLL of FERRIS BUELLER in trademark sweater vest, white T-shirt, and white bucks as he mounts the stage a la Tony Robbins before an adoring audience of SEMINAR ATTENDEES all wearing trademarked “FB” berets.

INFOMERCIAL NARRATOR
…But now you can enjoy this funfilled, energizing, and life-changing day off any time you like as you learn to embrace the Bueller Lifestyle at your convenience on CD, DVD, or iPod download!

ELECTRONIC CLICK and the flat screen goes to BLACK.
Hemmed in by an Italian-leather flight chair is FERRIS BUELLER. Forty today, virtually unchanged, he’s Peter Pan in Armani. But he seems none too happy at the moment, almost anxious, like a caged bird. He WHISTLES quietly to himself; the tune “A MAN WITHOUT LOVE,” the international hit of Engelbert Humperdinck.

”

— From the 12-page fanfic excerpt of Ferris Bueller: Another Day Off. Which…I mean, this guy at the St. Petersburg Times seems to think has a chance at not sucking.

Film Shoot by the Numbers: Day 6

# of streets into Bay Ridge: 95

# of Stops Away I Was From Home: 30

# of total extras: 22

# hours we had to shoot: 10

# of pizzas we ordered: 7

# of hours we were delayed due to technical reasons: 2

# of reviews written on set: 1

# of cast/crew deaths: 0

Film Shoot by the Numbers: Day 5

# of kaffe: 1668

# of address: 230

# of extras in a party: 15

# of cops who came by to ask who we were: 5

# of location shots: 3

# of white vans parked near ground zero: 2

# of polish men who leapt from their van and exclaimed, “I MUST MAKE PEE PEE. SHOW ME PEE PEE." And then peed: 1

# of cast/crew deaths: 0

Film Shoot by the Numbers: Day 4

# of scenes scheduled: 10

# of cigarettes flushed: 9

# of days since this actually happened: 6

# of playing card decks purchased: 3

# of successful solitaire games: 1

# of cast/crew deaths: 0

“And then the skies went boom, boom, pow and sent big girls crying.”

— why NY1’s Pat Kiernan is amazing.

Fact: if you think about this song during every torrential downpour and thunder storm, you will immediately not think about being wet but about the girlfriend you’re about to get after you murder her boyfriend, Moby. 

Listen.

Industry Magazine Publishing, Newspapers

Benefits Health

Job DurationFull Time

Job Location New York, NY USA

Experience Level 0 years

Job Requirements

The Managing Editor will be primarily responsible for Observer Media Group’s newest editorial product, NYO Magazine, but will also oversee various other publications and sections including Observer Philanthropy, The Educated Observer, real estate magazines and travel magazines. 

The successful candidate will be extremely organized, able to manage a crew of five interns and capable of working in a fast-paced environment. New graduates are encouraged to apply, but applicants should have a strong writing background as the Managing Editor will be expected to produce large amounts of copy in addition to his or her editorial duties. 

This is a great position for a new journalist looking to start out in a top position and gain valuable experience regarding all aspects of producing a magazine from start to finish. 

Annual salary: $30,000

…if that includes my rent since I’d be literally living inside the office due to being unable to afford living arrangements, sign me up.

This is what a set sounds like.

Film Shoot by the Numbers Day: 3

# of chicken legs/breasts I took home: 20~30. seriously. so much chicken.

# of shots completed today: 10

# of shots intended: 9

# of egg and cheese bagel sandwiches: 6

# of black sheets kept on windows: 5

# of children who kept shouting “HEY YOU GUUUUUUUUUUUYS" while we filmed: 5

# of random landscape services that were within 40 feet while shooting: 4

# of days shooting so far: 3

# of actors who left early: 2

# of times I had to shout at children to shut the fuck up and then felt bad: 1

# of  fires and/or crew deaths: 0

# of pain killers laced with codene purchased: 0, after reading up on the Rockefeller Laws again.

Film Shoot by the Numbers Day: 2

# of bottles of water consumed: do i look like i fucking keep count?

# of sandwiches ordered for lunch: 25-30

# of scenes shot: 10

# of items ordered for breakfast: 9

# bags of ice purchased: 6

# of runs made today: 4

# of sandwiches I ate: 3

# of wrong turns given while driving thanks to my iPhone being slow: 2

# of failed espressos with soy milk: 1

# of  fires and/or crew deaths*:1

# of sandwiches I took home: 0

*something was decaying in a trash can. how the animal got there is up to anyone’s best guest. we’ll call him steve.