“Everyone’s favorite parasitic night terrors just love crawling in and out of books left near beds in infested homes. There, they’ll make a happy home, perhaps inside the spine of a hardcover, lay eggs, and travel back to the library undisturbed. So when someone else borrows the book, they’re really bringing a little Bedbug Nation home with them.”
— aaAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“

Please note that our internships last six months and are full-time gigs, so full-time students and those seeking part-time employment are ineligible. Our next opening will be in early January 2013 and end in late June.



As an EW.com intern, you’ll build and publish articles and photo galleries in our publishing tool; attend staff meetings where you’ll help plan our editorial coverage; write TV recaps and blog posts for our website; monitor our online community; and help promote EW.com on various social media platforms. The pay is $10/hour.

”
— Alternatively, if you replace “intern" with “freelance writer" and state that the six-month contract will net you $9,600 most people desperately hunting for work would not bat a fucking eye.

“

NYPD Red is a special task force charged with protecting the interests of Manhattan’s wealthiest and most powerful citizens. When a world-famous movie producer is poisoned on the first day of a Manhattan film festival called Hollywood on the Hudson, they are the first ones called. Then an actor is killed on the set of a film. And a Molotov cocktail explodes at a movie premiere.



Detective First Grade Zach Jordan and his new partner—and ex-girlfriend—Detective Kylie MacDonald are assigned to the case. The killer has every murder, every escape, planned down to the last detail—and he’s scripted an explosive finale that will bring New York and Hollywood to its knees. With larger-than-life action, relentless speed, and white-knuckle twists, NYPD RED is a mega-blockbuster from “The Man Who Can’t Miss.”

”
— Tyler Perry, where are you?